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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29688627">peanut butter and jellystone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyZinger/pseuds/twerkbottomjinx'>twerkbottomjinx (MyZinger)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Yogi Bear Show (Cartoon), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crossover Pairings, Crossovers &amp; Fandom Fusions, Gay Edward Cullen, Gay Harry Potter, Gay Yogi Bear, Harry Potter is a Little Shit, Jellystone AU, M/M, Multi, Multiple Crossovers, Multiple Partners, Park Ranger Edward Cullen, Park Ranger Harry Potter, Spells &amp; Enchantments, The cave of three lovers, Truth Spells, Twerking, Wand Play (Harry Potter), Yogi is a sandwich stealing scoundrel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:34:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29688627</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyZinger/pseuds/twerkbottomjinx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“No! That’s completely and totally against all ethics and morals I personally prescribe to, not to mention our Ranger’s oath. Thou shalt not accuse a person place or thing of committing any transgression or misdemeanour without conclusive evidence.” Harry was beginning to think Hermione had rubbed off on him a little at Hogwarts. </p><p>“Then we’ll just have to make him confess before we accuse him of anything, won’t we?” Edward had that glint in his eye again. God, Harry loved that glint.</p><hr/><p>Wizards and Vampires and Bears, oh my!</p><p>Harry is finishing his daily patrols in Jellystone park when Edward drops by to share his concerns, but can Harry keep his feelings (and his wand) under control long enough to get to the bottom of this mystery? Or will he discover something even more dangerous living within himself?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edward Cullen/Harry Potter, Edward Cullen/Harry Potter/Yogi Bear, Edward Cullen/Yogi Bear, Harry Potter/Yogi Bear</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>peanut butter and jellystone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the product of late night study sessions in 2013, with my dear friend AKB. I blame them for this, but also thought it was time I share it with the world.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a sunny day in the park. Children and their parents were out enjoying the sunshine while it would last—winter was on the way—and the birds in the sky scrambled to gobble up the last few free breadcrumbs before they departed from the park to head south. Harry strolled casually down the path. He hadn’t been given too much trouble today on his daily patrols, just the usual complaint of a missing sandwich or two, but they could easily have fallen prey to a squirrel or raccoon, nothing to get all worked up about. As the sun began to dip lower in the sky, Harry began to make his way to the gate to lock up for the night. It was almost five o’clock after all. </p><p>The last of the geese padded around, ravaging the grass and leaving shit in their wake. Harry had figured they would be gone by now, but he thought that every year. As he passed through the gaggle, careful to avoid eye contact, a sudden chorus of honking and wings sent Harry ducking for cover. Gripping his wand tightly and bringing to mind happy thoughts he cried “EXPECTOPAT—“</p><p>“Woah! Harry, calm down. It’s only me!”</p><p>And indeed, it was only the strong hands gripping his arm and the golden yellow eyes he had just been picturing as he began his spell. </p><p>“Bloody hell, Edward! You gave me quite the scare there,” Harry tried to calm his wand hand down, but the terror and excitement was still flowing through him. </p><p>“Yes well it’s not my fault the geese scatter when they see me coming. Loosen your grip on your wand mate, I won’t hurt you,” but as the remaining sunlight sparkled off Edwards forehead, bouncing light into his auburn hair, Harry conceded that he wasn’t too worried about Edward <i>hurting</i> him.</p><p>“Now listen Harry, I know you’ve been getting reports of missing food all day, though nothing big am I right?”</p><p>“Yes,” replied Harry, “and I know what you’re thinking, but raccoons or even the geese could easily be responsible for a missing sandwich.”</p><p>“Indeed, but we haven’t gotten a missing picnic basket report in days now, and you and I both know he wouldn’t give up so easily.” Edward stared deep into Harry’s eyes, imploring him to see reason.</p><p>“But Edward, we can’t just accuse him when we have no proof!” </p><p>“Oh can’t we?” Edward raised his eyes suggestively at Harry. </p><p>“No! That’s completely and totally against all ethics and morals I personally prescribe to, not to mention our Ranger’s oath. Thou shalt not accuse a person place or thing of committing any transgression or misdemeanour without conclusive evidence.” Harry was beginning to think Hermione had rubbed off on him a little at Hogwarts. </p><p>“Then we’ll just have to make him confess before we accuse him of anything, won’t we?” Edward had that glint in his eye again. God, Harry loved that glint. </p><p>“Fine then, let’s go.”</p><p>Harry followed Edward deep into the park, past the pond of possibilities, and through the meadow of manners, until they got to the cave of capabilities. </p><p>“In we go,” said Edward a bit too calmly.</p><p>Harry followed him in, despite the sense of dread pooling in his stomach. </p><p>“Yogi! I know you’re in here!” Edward cried. Harry grabbed his wand again, keeping it at the ready just in case. </p><p>“Yesss?” came a familiar voice from inside the cave, “Have you missed me?”</p><p>“We’ve been wondering where you went Yogi,” said Edward, “We’re so used to your crazy picnic stealing traps that not seeing you around getting into trouble had us a little worried.”</p><p>A furry green hat and black tie wearing bear came traipsing out of the shadows, “Ah, so you did miss me!  I knew it!” Yogi smiled at Edward, “I missed you too, it’s a shame you don’t sparkle out of the sunlight.”</p><p>“Ah, but I might if you tell me what I want to know,” Edward winked, “at least, for you.”</p><p>“Well, that implies that I have something to tell,” replied Yogi. </p><p>Harry struggled to keep his wand still, the tension in the room was becoming too much, and Yogi’s big eyes and were appealing to a part of Harry he didn’t know he had. </p><p>“C’mon Edward, maybe we should just go.”</p><p>“No,” Edward gave Harry a stern look, “not until we have what we’re looking for.</p><p>“Now Yogi, you have information I want to know, and I think we know how to get it from you.”</p><p>“You do, do you?”</p><p>“We do?” asked Harry. </p><p>“Yes,” said Edward,  “now Harry I want you to look at Yogi’s bottom.” Harry obliged. “Now with an ass that big, can you think of one thing that Yogi might dislike being made to do more than anything else in the world?”</p><p>The colour drained from Yogi’s fur, “No, please, anything but that!”</p><p>“Twerk it Harry,” Edward said, “Twerk it hard.”</p><p>As understanding dawned on Harry his wand jumped up before he could even begin the spell “Twerkbottom jinx!”</p><p>Yogi’s hiny instantly began bouncing uncontrollably, ass vibrating in the candlelight of the cave. </p><p>“No! No, please! I did it! I took the sandwiches! Please just make it stop!”</p><p>“See Harry, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Edward smiled as he began to make his way to Yogi with a pair of Park Ranger handcuffs when the light bounced off his supple bottom so that Harry’s next action couldn’t be blamed on anyone but Edward himself. </p><p>“TWERKBOTTOM JINX!”</p><p>And just like that Edward and Yogi began twerking their asses together. </p><p>“Hey, this is actually fun! I’m not sure why you were complaining about it so much Yogi” Edward’s bum jiggled and jumped with Yogi’s, their dance evolving into a sensual celebration of the male form. </p><p>“You know, it’s not as bad with company,” Yogi winked at Edward,  and just like that Harry lost the tight grip he had on his wand. Sparks flew out the end uncontrollably and flew around the room as Harry struggled to hold on. </p><p>“Aw come on Harry, already? We were just getting started!” Edward picked up Harry’s wand and dusted it off, handing it back to him. </p><p>“Hey don’t give up on me yet,” Harry tried to hide his flushed face, “just give me a moment to pull myself together and we can go right back to where we left off.”</p><p>“Alright good, because that was just getting fun!” said Yogi.</p><p>And they twerked late into the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry to whoever has read this. Please, feel free to yell at me in the comments for it, I probably deserve it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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